(Please make sure you have your volume up.)
“Sweetie, did you take out the trash? You know tomorrow is trash day.”
“No, but I will.”
“I’ll take it out when a commercial comes on. Okay!”
(Insert clenched jaws—both characters)
“Honey, did you make that appointment?”
“No, but I will.”
“First thing Monday morning. Okay!”
(Insert eyes rolling—both characters.)
“Darling, I thought you said you were going to wash the car today.”
“No, I said I’d wash it on the weekend—the weekend’s not over.”
“But when over the weekend?”
“I said I’ll do it—I’ll do it. Okay!”
(Insert exasperated sighs.)
“Sweetie, I’ve had a long day. Is dinner ready?”
“No, but I’ll throw something together in a minute.”
“But when? I’m hungry now.
“Soon. By the way, I’ve had a long day, too. Okay!”
(Insert furrowed brows—both characters.)
“Honey, are you ready?”
“No, but I’ll be ready quicker—if you stop asking me, ‘Are you ready?’
“Fine. But when do you think you might be ready?”
“Are you trying to make me mad? I’ll be ready when I’m ready. Okay!”
(Insert foot tapping—both characters.)
“Darling, I don’t think you should eat another piece of cake. What do you think?”
“No, I probably shouldn’t; however, do you think you should monitor what I eat?”
“No, but when you ask me, ‘do I look fat in these jeans?’ What am I supposed to say?”
“You’re supposed to… I don’t know what you’re supposed to say. Okay!”
(Insert exasperated sighs—both characters.)
Gal 6:7 7Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (KJV)
Question for you… Are you sick and tired of going around the same emotional mountain? Do you long for a different outcome? Insanity is doing the same thing the same way, but expecting a different result.
Marriage is more about giving than receiving. Seek to show tenderness rather than demanding. Love realistically. Jesus did not have any illusions as to who we were… He knew our faults and loved us in spite of them. He did not wait until we attained some standard. He loved us as we were and sought to move us forward. In the same way, a spouse is to love their spouse for who they are. Pray with and for your spouse about the godly changes you would like to see in your marriage. In the meantime, talk about your spouse’s good points to others. When an issue does arise, share your feelings without attacking (this makes a person defensive and may cause withdrawal). Turn to each other for help, which is better than attacking one another. Don’t replay failures. No one wants to hear about the mistakes they’ve made over-and-over; instead, underscore what was done well rather than pointing out what was done poorly. Let your spouse know when he/she is doing something right.
Oneness in marriage means caring for your spouse as you care for yourself. We are to love our spouse like we love our own body. As we feed and care for our body so we should give attention to taking care of our spouse. My relationship with my spouse affects my spiritual life. When I am not feeding my marriage, my spiritual life lacks nourishment. My husband recognizes the importance of a healthy marriage (not perfect, but healthy). He readily listens to people talk about their great faith, but what he hungers to know is: how do they treat their spouse? He knows that their actions are a better indication of their faith than their words. He’s right. I’m blessed to be married to him (waving at my loving and supportive husband Ed Hamlin).
Something to chew on. If you prayerfully treat your spouse with love and respect you will get different results. If you show the love of Christ to your spouse you can move mountains; mountains that are often formed out of expectations grounded in selfish needs. Psalm 51 1Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving kindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions… Prayed with a sincere heart and a desire for the Lord to show you how to love and respect your spouse is honoring not only to God, but also to your spouse.