(Please make sure you have your vol­ume up.) 

“Sweetie, did you take out the trash? You know tomor­row is trash day.”

“No, but I will.”

“But when?”

“I’ll take it out when a com­mer­cial comes on. Okay!”

(Insert clenched jaws—both characters)

“Honey, did you make that appointment?”

“No, but I will.”

“But when?”

“First thing Mon­day morn­ing. Okay!”

(Insert eyes rolling—both characters.)

“Dar­ling, I thought you said you were going to wash the car today.”

“No, I said I’d wash it on the weekend—the weekend’s not over.”

“But when over the weekend?”

“I said I’ll do it—I’ll do it. Okay!”

(Insert exas­per­ated sighs.)

“Sweetie, I’ve had a long day. Is din­ner ready?”

“No, but I’ll throw some­thing together in a minute.”

“But when? I’m hun­gry now.

“Soon. By the way, I’ve had a long day, too. Okay!”

(Insert fur­rowed brows—both characters.)

“Honey, are you ready?”

“No, but I’ll be ready quicker—if you stop ask­ing me, ‘Are you ready?’

“Fine. But when do you think you might be ready?”

“Are you try­ing to make me mad? I’ll be ready when I’m ready. Okay!”

(Insert foot tapping—both characters.)

“Dar­ling, I don’t think you should eat another piece of cake. What do you think?”

“No, I prob­a­bly shouldn’t; how­ever, do you think you should mon­i­tor what I eat?”

“No, but when you ask me, ‘do I look fat in these jeans?’ What am I sup­posed to say?”

“You’re sup­posed to… I don’t know what you’re sup­posed to say. Okay!”

(Insert exas­per­ated sighs—both characters.)

 Gal 6:7 ⁷Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for what­so­ever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (KJV)

Ques­tion for you… Are you sick and tired of going around the same emo­tional moun­tain? Do you long for a dif­fer­ent out­come? Insan­ity is doing the same thing the same way, but expect­ing a dif­fer­ent result. 

Mar­riage is more about giv­ing than receiv­ing. Seek to show ten­der­ness rather than demand­ing. Love real­is­ti­cally. Jesus did not have any illu­sions as to who we were… He knew our faults and loved us in spite of them. He did not wait until we attained some stan­dard. He loved us as we were and sought to move us for­ward. In the same way, a spouse is to love their spouse for who they are. Pray with and for your spouse about the godly changes you would like to see in your mar­riage. In the mean­time, talk about your spouse’s good points to oth­ers. When an issue does arise, share your feel­ings with­out attack­ing (this makes a per­son defen­sive and may cause with­drawal). Turn to each other for help, which is bet­ter than attack­ing one another. Don’t replay fail­ures. No one wants to hear about the mis­takes they’ve made over-and-over; instead, under­score what was done well rather than point­ing out what was done poorly. Let your spouse know when he/she is doing some­thing right. 

One­ness in mar­riage means car­ing for your spouse as you care for your­self. We are to love our spouse like we love our own body. As we feed and care for our body so we should give atten­tion to tak­ing care of our spouse. My rela­tion­ship with my spouse affects my spir­i­tual life. When I am not feed­ing my mar­riage, my spir­i­tual life lacks nour­ish­ment. My hus­band rec­og­nizes the impor­tance of a healthy mar­riage (not per­fect, but healthy). He read­ily lis­tens to peo­ple talk about their great faith, but what he hungers to know is: how do they treat their spouse? He knows that their actions are a bet­ter indi­ca­tion of their faith than their words. He’s right. I’m blessed to be mar­ried to him (wav­ing at my lov­ing and sup­port­ive hus­band Ed Hamlin).

Some­thing to chew on. If you prayer­fully treat your spouse with love and respect you will get dif­fer­ent results. If you show the love of Christ to your spouse you can move moun­tains; moun­tains that are often formed out of expec­ta­tions grounded in self­ish needs. Psalm 51  ¹Have mercy upon me, O God, accord­ing to thy lov­ing kind­ness: accord­ing unto the mul­ti­tude of thy ten­der mer­cies blot out my trans­gres­sions… Prayed with a sin­cere heart and a desire for the Lord to show you how to love and respect your spouse is hon­or­ing not only to God, but also to your spouse.

God bless,

–gh ;)